Journey in New Zealand: Part 1

The Plane Ride and the six Year Journey

January 11th, 2023

Less than 30 min away from landing at Auckland airport I hear the captain over the speaker, narrating that familiar landing prep speech to all the passengers and cabin crew. In this moment I felt something I’ve never really felt before. Not surprised that I would be emotional, as this trip was something I’d been obsessing over for the past six years. Almost everything I’ve done, within those six years, in some way revolved around travelling back to New Zealand. Leading up to this trip I always believed it was because of two reasons: Pursuing my dream and fulfilling a promise I made to myself. But as I was on that plane. I realized this trip represented so much more.

First day at The Original Palace Dance Studio (Auckland, New Zealand) - Sep 2015

Pursuing my Dream

I’ve previously travelled to NZ twice, once in 2015 for three months, and then in 2017 for seven months. In 2017 I was on what’s called a ‘working holiday visa’ (where I’m able to live and work there for a year and then extend for another year if desired). I was inspired to live in Auckland to be a part of The Royal Family Dance Crew (RF) - The world-renowned dance company created by Parris Goebel.

In 2015, I was doing private lessons with some of the members, of which one of them strongly encouraged me to try out. My biggest dream has always been to train with them, but I never saw the possibility until I was actually there in the studio. After training like crazy throughout all of 2016, I auditioned in January 2017 and didn’t make the cut. I remember being at peace with this because I knew I wasn’t 100% ready. Regardless, I was determined to not give up and try out again. After spending seven months in NZ, I made the difficult decision to move back to Canada for school.

Training with Kaea Pearce (Royal Family & Request Dance Crew), one of my biggest inspirations and is the one who encouraged me to pursue my dream - Oct 2015

Training with Kyra Aoake (Royal Family & Request Dance Crew) - Dec 2015

Fulfilling a Promise

When I was on the plane going back home to Vancouver in 2017, there was a sense of disappointment inside of me. I wanted to stay in NZ so badly, but the pressure of going back to university and the hardships that came with living alone in a foreign country was ultimately just too much for me at the time. So I made a promise to myself: I’ll come back and I’m going to continue what I came here to do. Would I have guessed it would take 6 years? Absolutely not.

UniverseSoul Dance Studio (Calgary, Alberta). I travelled to Calgary to train with Apple and Goldie in the Summer of 2018. Just one of many things I did to prepare for RF auditions (Back then I was hoping to audition in 2020)

Six Years Later

It’s been more than half a decade since the trip in 2017. As the years went on, the hope of actually making it happen started to dwindle; and when the pandemic hit, it slipped away even more. In 2021, I was struggling with the direction regarding dance. To get to a better place I somehow concluded to put dance behind me and to “move on with my life” so to speak. At this point, I haven’t taught in over a year and haven’t trained consistently in about 3 years. I became completely disillusioned with dance. Yet all this time, I was feeling like something was missing in my life—there was something I needed to do. Whenever I would reflect on this feeling, I knew it had something to do with going back to New Zealand.

After speaking to some amazing friends, I decided to keep dance in my life. The first step was to start training again, focusing on developing myself as an artist. That was in September 2021. It’s been a long hard journey since then. When my closest friends asked how it felt to dance again, I would respond by describing it as a fight. This is because I not only had New Zealand auditioning for RF in my sights again; I also had to play catch up with the dancer I was in 2018, and also where the choreo community in Vancouver was now that it’s 2021. Anyone who’s taken a long break from training may understand what I am talking about. Because my goals are so specific, I knew I had to work and train a certain way to reach those goals. And this kind of training is anything but easy. Nonetheless I was happy to be training again and I was genuinely excited about the challenge.

Getting ready to go back to NZ - Vancouver International Airport, Jan 2023

Overcoming

Fast forward to January 2023 and being on the plane, heading toward Auckland, felt like a full-circle moment. I remembered the sense of disappointment again, but this time it was met with the feeling of overcoming. It’s the feeling of missing something in life, searching for it, and then finally finding it. At that moment, I knew this trip was beyond pursuing my dream or fulfilling a promise I made to myself. Going back to NZ was about overcoming fear. And it all began when I started dancing again in 2021. It was about choosing to let go of all the fear I’d accumulated, all of the doubt I planted within myself since the last trip. To this day, I can’t believe I was so ready to let go of dance; something I love so deeply, and brings me so much joy and purpose, all because of fear. That moment on that plane ride represented my overcoming!

When the plane finally landed I felt like a six-year chapter closing and the beginning of a new journey. I was here for training–to be immersed in the Auckland dance community. As I ponder on the idea of being in the same room as some of those dancers again; I can’t help but feel nervous, excited and scared. And so here we are again—face to face with fear. I remember saying to myself, “Let’s look fear straight in the eye and let’s overcome. You’ve done it before, and you do it again!”